Fireworks over Göppingen, Baden-Württemberg, Germany.
I love how the street looks so calm.
Sometimes a hug from him is all I need.
My last year was filled with adventure, surfing, finding new friends, sickness, too little travel, medications, doctors appointment, smoking, beers, too little skateboarding, too little reading books AND love. I found peace again within me. My heart sings songs again and hums disney songs whilst walking down streets filled with strangers.
I can smile again. I can breathe.
I went to a clinic to heal major depression and I made it trough. I have learned. A LOT.
I have grown. I can glow again.
I found love. The true kind.
There is a wonderful quote I found during the day on the hunt of inspiring words of wisdom and here is what I got hold of
“When you start to feel like things should have been better this year, remember the mountains and valleys that got you here. They are not accidents and those same moments weren’t in vain. You are not the same. You have grown and you are growing. You are breathing. You are living. You are wrapped in endless, boundless, grace. And things WILL get better. There is more to you than yesterday.”
— Morgan Harper Nichols
Enjoy your first day of the year. Sleep well and make a wish.
... to be the right time.
To be more productive and consistent with the things you love.
Never give up, of course, they'll tell you.
I made some shots during the last days of summer at our secret home spot where I learned to surf.
Katharina and her dad.
Beautiful Katharina pretty concentrated.
Susi and Martina chatting.
Oli and Andy.
Katharina and Andy sharing.
It's been so long since I wrote something here.
I went through some troubled water but fortunately I already know how to swim in them and survive. Thank you universe for letting me survive.
I went to a psychosomatic clinic for 5 weeks.
I have to find some ambulatory care after that now.
I got to get back to my studies and make it to the Bachelor Exams.
I got myself my very own dog I was longing for through all my childhood as long as I can think.
I named her 'Moana' after the Disney movie where she is a hero. She is my hero, my little dog.
I wrote this a couple of weeks ago (it's all better now):
Hello there, dear few readers.
It has been such a long time since I wrote something.
I have been struggling for a while. I kept asking myself the last weeks and month if I should right about it or rather not and shut up like society would prefer. It is not pleasant or comfortable to talk about it like at a party, with friends at a café or even with your own family.
Better not talk about it. It's all gonna be okay. It's just something you made up. You made it up in your head so you can make it go away by yourself.
No your can't make it go away that easily: Depression.
I was doing an internship last summer at a magazine. Fortunately my last major depressive episode - how the doctors call it and as it is written on the leaflet of the antidepressants i was taking back then - went away not even a month before the internship started. Lucky me.
So after this internship I went on a trip to Costa Rica and the United States and suddenly it started again. This feeling of numbness and the inability to be fully happy without fear.
I was in paradise surrounded by the ocean, nature, lovely people, surfing and good food and right there it hit me again. I knew it was about time to go home and I knew from the 4 times I had depression before of the feeling of it as it came up.
Scarred of being around people, always tired, anxious about even leaving the house. Not able of having a casual conversation, even with friends or family. Always this nervous feeling in my stomach, ever since I open my eyes in the morning. Having confusing dreams. Making decisions is the worst in those episodes.
And still I am still trying to act calm.
I keep on posting from now on a lot more. Stay tuned! Pah!